guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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