This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize