I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
