but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
