I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
