talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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