My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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