Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
