Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
