apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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