I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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