Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
