I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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