yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
