I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
