...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
