I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize