It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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