i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
pray to the hookup gods
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