we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
