no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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