dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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