Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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