Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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