I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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