I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
