Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
should my penis look like a turkey
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
