Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
