At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
