i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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