I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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