After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
