i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
