do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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