dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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