Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize