your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
