So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
