love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
