Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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