He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
