True but thats because hes a fetus.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
