Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
