Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
