Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
