First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
