The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
