just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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