tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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