Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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