my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
