When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize