..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
