My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
