I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
