Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
