did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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