i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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