Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
