I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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